I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
