Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
