hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize