Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
