weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
