Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
