I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize