Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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