The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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