I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
