you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize