obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
