Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
