Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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