WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
