Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
