Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
