so explain again why im purple
no
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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