Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
