is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I need to calm my uterus...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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