covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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