You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
