I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
