the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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