Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
