be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize