Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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