Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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