Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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