Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
