I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
