do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
