he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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