My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
