nut hugger
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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