You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
