just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize