ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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