she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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