I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
