Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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