I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
