I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize