We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
