Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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