im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
