I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I know her cup size but not her name....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
