god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
