dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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