Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
