I love black thongs
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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