we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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