I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
