once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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