I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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