It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And then he peed in my hair
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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