hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
