Porn is love you can see.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
