The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
