The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
