well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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