Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
