I wish my penis had an off switch
he shaved USA in his pubs
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
