I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
