I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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