he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize