I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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