I skipped work to stalk him.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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