he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
