Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
