Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
