All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize