Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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